Men and women say “happy birthday” differently. I know. It was my birthday recently. Here’s a rundown of how people wished me a happy birthday and how I rate their salutation:
- The Wife. I got a nice hug and kiss this morning on my way out the door to work. She’s my wife, so she gets a 10. Plus, she didn’t complain about my choice for dinner (check out my Tweets).
- 4 year-old. He called me at work (with help from my wife). He didn’t wish me a happy birthday. Rather, he told me it was my birthday and asked what present he gets. He gets an 8. He was deducted a few points for forgetting to wish me a happy birthday, but he scores big points by asking what’s in it for him. He’s learning quickly that men usually only care about how events directly affect them.
- My mom. She called on my commute home from work. A simple 5 minute conversation. Nice and sweet. She’s my mom, so she gets a 10.
- The interns at work. I have two interns at work (I know they read this and will probably razz me for saying “my interns”…but they do work under my direction, so that description is perfectly warranted). The first thing I heard from one intern this morning was “happy birthday.” He also went to lunch with me. He gets a solid 9. The other IM’d me in the morning (on his personal time) to wish me a happy birthday. Another solid 9. Good work, interns.
- Brother. About 11 a.m. I got a one liner instant message that simply said “happy birthday.” I replied with a “thank you” and that was the end of the conversation. My brother pulled it off like a man. No need for extra crap. He lives several hundred miles away, but there was still no need for a phone call. A simple IM took care of all the necessary business. Well played, brother. Well played. He gets a 9.
- Friend. At 11 p.m., with one hour to spare, he sent me an instant message. Simple and at the deadline. Another 9.
Looks like everyone did a great job, right? Not quite. You see, I have another friend that just forgot. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a chance to wish me a happy birthday. On my birthday, I talked to him twice on the phone, exchanged a handful of emails, and had a quick IM conversation. The week before he even made a big deal about how this year he was going to remember my birthday because he created an event in his iCal to remind him. I guess it didn’t work. He still forgot. His punishment: 0/10 and this blog post.
